First Mailbag Of The Year
Well, glad to be back after my dumbass forgot to hand in a piece last time… Not like you turds missed it any. But, much to your chagrin, I’m back with the first mailbag segment of the New Year.
It is the first one of 2014, right?
Anyhow, I don’t feel like much has gone on since the last one of these that we did. Michael Moore won a Grammy for rap album of the year, Pharrell wore a hat modeled after Yogi Bear’s genitals and you probably bitched about all of it, while having spent exactly zero point zero dollars on music this past calendar year. Same old, same old if you ask me.
Which, believe it or not, you did.
So here we go, yet again. The ground rules, for those of you who have not participated in a THHH Mailbag before with your Uncle Handsome, are real simple. I only mention the first name of the questioner and try my best to answer the question asked. If it’s dumb, I do reserve the right to make fun of your question in front of all THHH readers. Speaking of the readers, I do my best to correct spelling and capitalization of submitted questions, because my readers expect a certain quality of intellect… Hold you laughs, please… If I didn’t answer your question, it was either similar to one I did answer, being reserved for a future segment, or it was fucking stupid. Also, there will be no shenanigans or the falling for bananas in tailpipes.
Now, let the games begin.
Q: How do you feel about the Macklemore/Kendrick thing at the Grammys? Do you think Kendrick was robbed? – Alicia, Twitter
A: Good thing I have a Facebook, Instagram and Twitter account, otherwise I’d have no fucking idea what you were asking me. I know a lot of people were up-in-arms over dude’s win over Kendrick and the alleged text that was sent out, but, honestly- does any of it fucking matter? The Grammys have come to be a meaningless award that seemingly can be bought by a first-come, first-serve basis. The fact that people say Macklemore shouldn’t have won because he makes “pop” music is moot because if Kendrick won, the exact same argument could be used against him. It’s not like Macklemore beat out an Illmatic, Ready To Die or Fear Of A Black Planet…. Once again, in an awards show that doesn’t mean SHIT anymore. If anything, independent rappers across the board should take extreme comfort in the fact that Macklemore and his life partner beat the industry machine with an album they paid for entirely out of pocket.
Q: Datpiff. Wack or not? – Anthony, Twitter
A: Is this like a “smash or pass” or another “fuck/marry/kill”? Because this is an easy one. In my last post on this site (like a goddamn year ago), I dealt with a few bad sites to deal with. Then I alluded to a few that you could dump a few dollars into that wouldn’t be such a horrible idea. Datpiff falls into the latter. In my opinion, Datpiff has probably seen better days as far as popularity is concerned. It’s a site that peaked earlier this decade but still offers a consistent platform for users to utilize. With them you can upload free if you’re approved, but the offer upgrades and promotional packages as well. Now, if you’re not working with a mid to upper 4 figure budget, most of these packages won’t do you a whole, whole lot of good, but it’s all up to you. Check out what they have to offer and see if it makes sense for your situation.
All of that said, Datpiff is wack, but not if you’re an artist, promoter or DJ. The people are there and the name is familiar enough to where people will remember to search for your project. Bloggers, on the other hand, may be hesitant to post your Datpiff players, so make sure you diversify where you have your project. For whatever that’s worth to you, Anthony.
Q: I see you’re in to underground hip-hop. So am I. Check out my beats. – Nova, Twitter
A: No thanks.
Q: If my song is in rotation on the radio, how much royalties will I receive? – Tanya, Twitter
A: Let’s see, how do I break this down so it will make sense… Regardless of how many spins you receive, the breakdown is roughly .08 per spin (yep, 8 whole cents)- but that’s the FULL payment. If you wrote the song by yourself and composed and produced the beat entirely from scratch, PLUS you own your publishing rights, then you would receive the full 8 cents. After that, the breakdown is complicated. You wrote the whole song, your man produced it, you both get 4 cents… For the sake of confusing the ever-loving shit out of you, everything else will be broke down either by what’s stated in your contract or via proper ownership shares.
All of this, might I add, doesn’t mean a dick to a paralysis patient if you haven’t taken care of your publishing. If you haven’t, register your works with ASCAP/BMI or an agency of the like and look into other royalty collections agencies such as Soundexchange.
Honestly, you should really ask the legendary producer Domingo. He’s the model citizen when it comes to this department. Look him up and check out his posts. Pure gold.
Q: What do you think about the way Eastbound ended? – Alyssa, Twitter
A: Alyssa- did you ask me about Eastbound a few months back? Because one thing has kept me going since I last heard from you, and that’s the sight of those glorious tits.* (I’d apologize or digress here, but you should already recognize that line). Always a turn-on when ladies ask about the old Kentucky Colonel Kenneth Powers. Here’s the thing- I saw the first 4 or 5 episodes (around the time “Taters-N-Tits” was introduced) and then agreed to stop until it came out on DVD so I could watch it with my wife. See, I’m only a half-way cheater lol. I’m sure now that I’ll get a whole bunch of spoilers about how it went down, but honestly, I’m just glad that it came back- whether it was overkill or not. It could have ended with the 3rd season, and honestly, the last episode of season 3 will probably always be the one I remember the most, but to be able to see 8 more episodes from one of the greatest characters in modern TV history is still better than nothing.
Has nothing to do with music, but fuck it. I’ll talk La Flama Blanca all damn day.
That’s it- thanks for reading. I’ll try my best to come around more often. In the meantime, hit me on twitter @rapperthomas on RadioHandsome@gmail.com with your questions for upcoming mailbag segments, or just to say hi.
Which reminds me, I recently published a book. It’s about a courageous little fella named Thom and the worm-hole he lives in. It’s one for the ages. It’s called “My Diary: Memoirs Of A Liar” by Thom Aubrey (really, I wrote it though) and it’s available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon and at http://www.memoirsofaliar.com. Excerpts, history, etc is available at that website as well.
Who ever said that I was shameful?
*Denotes Eastbound & Down quote
Thomas Handsome is a radio “personality” on 89.5 FM in Columbia, MO and on FleetDJRadio.net. You can also catch his “Dumb Up Mixshow” on AT&T U-Verse and in new Chrysler, Acura, VW etc factory radios and his vocal stylings on numerous advertisements. His top achievement in life is coloring inside the lines that one time, and has received praises about his “enamoring as*sface” personality from avid listener Mary Tyler Moore. He is best known as the 65th favorite rapper of his step-son, and for outrunnig Sherri Shepherd while she was in heat. “Slow down!! We gonna fall off the end of Earth!!” – Sherri Shepherd. More information is available at http://www.thomashandsome.com